Campaign Challenge #1

 

 

Rach’s first challenge is a 200 word flash fiiction challenge with the opening lines “The door swung open”. I have already read a slew of strong, varied and talented entries and decided to write outside my normal genre for fun.

The door swung open and she penetrated the throng of partygoers. I had my back to her when she entered, trapped in suffocating conversation with an interior designer. I feigned interest in Feng Shui and bamboo swings, nodding and knitting my brows together in mock agreement. I felt the precise moment she re-entered my universe, like a thousand shooting stars cascading to earth; I held my breath and closed my eyes.

I hadn’t known she had been invited. Would she even remember? The encounter had been so brief, so unlikely, yet my world had imploded with such unreasonable longing, that weeks later I still caught myself taking long, deep lung-fulls of air, trying to control the dancing emotions.

Bowing almost ceremoniously, I extricated myself from shades of magnolia and drifted, my eyes roaming the gregarious groups, flutes tilting back and forth to accustomed lips. She was surrounded by fawning yuppies, men and women, voices interrupting and increasing in decibels as they vied for her attention.

Her smile was so beguiling, each of those sycophants thought it was aimed at them. I knew better, or so I hoped. She turned, centered those grey eyes  on me and reeled me wordlessly in.

I shall be away three days in the mountains with students, so please don’t be offended if I don’t manage to reply to your comments until Sunday 😉 I am #238 and bravo if you are courageous enough to have looked through so many entries!

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59 Responses to Campaign Challenge #1

  1. Neil Vogler says:

    This is nicely crafted, and creates a lot of anticipation. Of course I’m assuming there’s a cruel twist later where the beguiling woman turns out to be a man or something…

  2. Tara says:

    The imagery is fantastic throughout this piece. And a great story. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Wow, Joanna. That was so very well written. You certainly reeled me in, and I hope that this is just the beginning and one day we’ll be able to purchase and read this entire book, because that’s what it needs to be. A book.

    Please?

    • Joanna says:

      Thank you very much, Beth. I so enjoyed writing this that it gave me encouragement that I do need to stretch myself with other genres!

  4. Patricia Tilton says:

    Exceptional — great to step outside of your comfort zone. Your imagery is beautiful and a little twisted. “flutes tilting back and forth to accustomed lips” — wow. Also feels like you have a cruel twist in mind — it occurred to me they were both women. You really wrote an edgy piece.

  5. This is such a great hook that I’d love for you to complete the story! I want to know what happens! Excellent job on this!

  6. Great job! The imagery here is fantastic! I could really picture the scene and feel the anticipation. Nicely done!

  7. You used “sycophants.” That’s awesome!

    Great party scene! I could totally see myself among the throng. And looking for that certain girl in a party. Talk about a major HS flashback. Awesome work, Joanna! 🙂

  8. Wow – you’ve created a great sense of longing. I sure wish I knew if they got together that night!

  9. Allie Wilde says:

    I love this story, and I’m glad I read the other comments as well, I don’t think I’d have guessed it was two women, but knowing it now, makes it all the more seductive and powerful. 🙂

    • Joanna says:

      Hi Allie, thanks for the encouragement 😉 I was being a little elusive and wondered if the female voice would be picked up. Pat does know me and my writing, so she has a slight advantage I suspect.

  10. Elisabeth says:

    Lovely imagery! Well done!

  11. Cortney says:

    The writing is beautiful! And I especially love how he/she tries to pretend he’s interested in Feng Shui (sp) and bamboo, it made me chuckle! Nicely done.

  12. Damyanti says:

    I liked the part about “reeled me wordlessly in.”

    Kudos on a great entry!

    Would like to invite you and your readers to take a look at The Rule of Three Blogfest —a month-long extravaganza in the fictional town of Renaissance this October, with some great prizes, comment love, and of course, a lot of exposure for your writing.

    Would love to see some of your characters create their own story in the town of Renaissance!

  13. Alexis says:

    I want to read the rest!!! Great writing!

    • Joanna says:

      Thank you, Alexis, that means a lot. And just to say your son was an absolute gem on the trip. He is growing into a super young guy.

  14. Nicely done. I definitly want to understand who the mysterious woman is. Mine is #72 by the way.

  15. It reeled me in! Thanks for sharing this. I’m grateful that so many have completed this challenge and shared their work. Hope you had a great trip.

    • Joanna says:

      Thank you, Stacey, I so enjoyed this. The trip was awesome… a bunch of teenage boys+mountains+camping+hiking+swimming in rivers etc very cool.

  16. We share a row! And this is one of the best pieces I’ve read today. You had me in the scene and in the head from the first sentence.

  17. I liked this so much, I read it twice. I could read more.

  18. Alica says:

    Very intense- I like it

  19. Great to meet you! Glad you had a fun trip. I love the mountains!

  20. Saba says:

    Hi Joanne! I’ve mentioned you on my blog and passed on the Versatile Blogger Award. You can find the info here: http://bit.ly/olQktt 😀

    • Joanna says:

      Saba, I really do appreciate the Versatile Blogger Award, however, as I have written a list of random facts just a few days ago for my blog for the WriteCampaign and I also did a list in July for a blog award, I think I am going to pass on this one, but am looking forward to following your blog.

  21. Ali B says:

    Hi Joanna – a lovely piece – great take on the theme. Oddly enough, reminds me a bit of a song … 😉
    http://debutnovelist.wordpress.com/2011/08/26/favourite-lyrics-youre-so-vain/
    Best of luck with it.
    Ali B

  22. I’m very intrigued about the suggestion that there is a twist and gender is heading in the right direction. Will have to stay tuned 🙂
    Wagging Tales – Blog for Writers

  23. I love the way how you combine words to form such beautiful sentences. There is wonderful imagery in this charming story you created. Brilliant!

  24. Diane says:

    Oh wow! Joanna you totally had me hooked. Great descriptive words, I picked up that it was a woman, just. Make it a book, I will pick it up in a heart beat. Something tells me you to are trying something you don’t normally do, ……wonderful 🙂

  25. I love the way the scene is described! I sense there’s something different about the woman, though; and I have to wonder what it is. 🙂

    Thanks for coming by my entry!

  26. Joanna I just loved your story. I really enjoyed your writing style. Beautifully written! Thanks for visiting my blog and reading my story 🙂

  27. Joanna says:

    Thanks, Jessica, I am keeping my fingers crossed for you getting into round 3 😉

  28. oooh, I am hooked! I definitely want to hear the rest of this.

  29. Pingback: Write Campaign Challenge #2 | Miss Marple's Musings

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