Maybe He Just Likes You – Middle Grade Book Recommendation

Posted on September 10, 2019 by Joanna

Title: Maybe He Just Likes you

Author: Barbara Dee

 Publisher: Aladdin, October 1st 2019

Ages: 10-14

Themes: #MeTooK12, #MeToo, sexual harassment, bullying, middle grade, finding one’s voice, support, boundaries, consent,

Thank you to the publisher for my review copy.

Favorite Quote:

I also understand that sometimes you reach a point where the only thing that matters is being heard. No, not just heard. Listened to, right?

Synopsis:

Barbara Dee explores the subject of #MeToo for the middle grade audience in this heart-wrenching—and ultimately uplifting—novel about experiencing harassment and unwanted attention from classmates.

For seventh grader Mila, it starts with an unwanted hug on the school blacktop.

The next day, it’s another hug. A smirk. Comments. It all feels…weird. According to her friend Zara, Mila is being immature, overreacting. Doesn’t she know what flirting looks like?

But it keeps happening, despite Mila’s protests. On the bus, in the halls. Even during band practice-the one time Mila could always escape to her “blue-sky” feeling. It seems like the boys are EVERYWHERE. And it doesn’t feel like flirting–so what is it?

Mila starts to gain confidence when she enrolls in karate class. But her friends still don’t understand why Mila is making such a big deal about the boys’ attention. When Mila is finally pushed too far, she realizes she can’t battle this on her own–and finds help in some unexpected places. (Publisher)

Why I like this book:

 This story of a 7th grade girl standing up and finding her voice is timely, masterful and empowering. Barbara Dee nails the confusion and questions of this age with nuance. And this is the first middle grade novel I have read  that deals specifically with sexual harassment and not just bullying. Kudos for naming it for what it is here, Barbara, and with such a realistic scenario. 

Mila is a regular middle school kid with a good group of friends and a happy home, but then weird stuff starts happening to her at school, and more than anything she is confused. Boys asking for birthday hugs when it isn’t even close to their birthday. At first she thinks it’s the fuzzy green sweater and her changing body. But even after discarding that, in a baggy flannel shirt borrowed from her mom, someone grabs her butt. Mila is as confused ad she is uncomfortable with this behavior from boys in her class, and does the typical self-doubting of someone her age.

My heart ached with the all too typical reality of her friends not fully getting her distress. Apart from her supportive gay friend, Max, the girls in her friendship group shift from downplaying the harassment to hinting that Mila might have some blame. She’s a self reflective kid and her decision to confront the friend and keep the friendship albeit at some distance rocks, and we love the courage it takes a 7th grader to do this.

Not all the adults in her life are as supportive as her mom and her music teacher eventually prove to be, and I felt this also rooted this novel in gritty reality. As the cool title suggests, there is still a pervasive view among many adults and young people that the sort of behavior the boys display in this novel is just playful and harmless. But over time, she realizes, the boys doing this are disrespecting her by using her body for a game. She sees them, and their selfish use of space, for what they are. And, in ways big and small, she decides to reclaim her space in the world. I closed the book so satisfied that justice had been served, but not in ways malicious or mean (even if that would have been ok too). Mila was empowered to be herself, whatever that may entail.

Her single mom quits her job part way through and understandably even though she has a great relationship with her mom, Mila is reluctant to add more stress to her mom’s life by sharing her worries. This context ups the tension, which Barbara creates so well in this page-turner. A new karate class is part of Mila’s growing self-confidence as the novel progresses. Things come to a head before and during a band recital leading her band teacher to investigate Mila’s outburst rather than just punish her. This teacher helps Mila put the right word, sexual harassment, to what the boys had been doing as she recognized the inappropriateness immediately. Her teacher helps her understand that she is being sexually harassed and gives her the courage to confront her harassers.

The resolution is super satisfying and the boys are not simply demonized. A community meeting finally brings an end to the behavior. The boys’ responses play the gamut of possibilities from genuine remorse to simply agreeing to cease the harassment. While we would love all the boys to have a moment of remorseful enlightenment, it felt real that not all have fully grasped how unacceptable their unwanted remarks and touching were to this young lady.

As a society we have been silent far too long about sexual harassment. Books like this, alongside the #MeToo movement, and the #MeTooK12 movement, are vital to help kids learn about respect, consent, and boundaries. I shall be book-talking this novel to our Middle Schoolers and will highly encourage it to be used in the classroom. I think Barbara Dee has outdone herself with this sensitive topic and the portrayal of this sensitive character growing through the confusion to stand up and find her voice.

Activities/resources:

Fabulous resources at this website: https://stopsexualassaultinschools.org/january-campaign/

See a Q&A, interview and more with Barbara on the Simon and Schuster Website.

Posted in children's books, Children's literature, middle grade | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Summer Blog Hiatus – Why I wander

Posted on June 29, 2019 by Joanna

Once again it is time for my two-month summer blog hiatus when I laser in my writing focus on my present manuscript and hopefully some fun Facebook musings during my adventures. Last year’s travels were all about healing and perspective. And as I reflect on the place of greater wholeness and hope from which I set out this time, I am reminded that in many ways the greatest journey is the interior one. 

My dad had a globe in his study; a globe so big that as a little girl I couldn’t get my arms much more than half way around the equator. Its countries were faded blues, pinks and yellows, and peeling like old scotch tape on discarded wrapping paper. They had soon-to-be outdated names like, Rhodesia and Siam. I would stand on tippy toes, give it a spin and look at Africa, Europe, the Americas and Asia whizzing by. In 1969, when I was five, our class watched the first lunar landing in stunned silence. It was the only time in kindergarten that we were allowed to watch the television during school. While all my classmates gawped at Apollo’s footage on the moon, I was mesmerized by the shots of our own planet from outer space.

Forget the silver spoon, when I was born, slivers of my spirit were scattered across the continents and oceans of this earth. Now, if I stay still for too long, my internal compass, spins and whirs, willing me to move in a new direction. And so, I go in search of those slivers. Not that I don’t feel whole, I do, but it is as though each new journey strengthens, mirrors, highlights another facet of this wonderful life I have been gifted to live.

I’ve found those slivers in many places:

Amidst the scents of wild lavender and thyme in the hill villages above Nice.

In the curious touch of a child in a Calcutta slum.

Sipping craft beer flights at a Coloradan brewery with my artist buddy, RoZo.

In the meditative grandeur of an orthodox monastery on a misty peak in the Rila Mountains of Bulgaria. 

Peering into the turquoise crater of a Costa Rican volcano.

Playing in the waves with New York friends at Folly Beach, South Carolina after the 2017 eclipse.

Roped together with my fellow-scouts to traverse a glacier in the Austrian Alps.

Surrounded by 2000 year old constructions and 2000 stories in the Colisseum or along the vertiginous Pont du Gard.

Where two oceans meet but never mix at Cape Horn.

Awestruck in front of murals and mosaics in Mexico City.

Kicking down the cobbled stones and sharing savory tapas with a bestie at an Andalusian café.

Cycling through the Sonoma Vineyards.

Hand in hand and barefoot along the beach leaving footprints and memories with each step.

Road-tripping in my trusty blue Subaru along the Blue Ridge Parkway.

Treating my taste buds to Masala Dosa breakfasts in Dehli. 

Wearing the vivid, hand-sewn fabrics of Malawi.

On a tiny boat, carrying medical supplies to the Chiloe Islands of central Chile.

In the sandy silence of the Kalahari at the midday zenith.

Through the laughter and conversations with locals and co-nomads.

Amidst the stumbling and stuttering of new languages.

In the deep breaths of every sunrise and sunset, I pause to appreciate.

Over a cozy, home-cooked meal and bottle of wine with friends who have become family.

These slivers are intangible. I cannot see them. I just feel them.

I know when I stumble across them, because they make me feel home, for a while.

I can find myself wherever I go, and so I feel like I belong wherever I am.

These slivers weave a story within me.

I become stronger, smarter, and more self-aware with every journey I take.

My perspective, understanding, and sense of gratitude soar.

With every decision, difficulty and uncertainty I face through my travels, I grow. 

And it thrills me.

Through every smile and wrinkle of the earth’s people; through every mountain and metropolis of our planet, there is infinite wisdom and adventure. It is ours to seek, and explore, and embrace.

And that is why I cannot stay still.

“If I’m an advocate for anything, it’s to move. As far as you can, as much as you can. Across the ocean, or simply across the river. The extent to which you can walk in someone else’s shoes or at least eat their food, it’s a plus for everybody. Open your mind, get up off the couch, move.” – Anthony Bourdain

Posted in Blog hiatus, Musings | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Mommy, Mama, and Me – Perfect Picture Book Friday

Posted on June 28, 2019 by Joanna

Title: Mommy, Mama, and Me

Author: Lesléa Newman

Illustrator: Carol Thompson

 Publisher: Tricycle Press, 2008

Ages: 0-3

Themes: lesbians, two moms, families, lgbtqia, pride, same-sex parents

Board book, 20 pages

Opening:

Mommy picks me up, up, up.

Mama pours juice in my cup.

Synopsis:

Rhythmic text and illustrations with universal appeal show a toddler spending the day with its mommies. From hide-and-seek to dress-up, then bath time and a kiss goodnight, there’s no limit to what a loving family can do together.

Why I like this book:

 One of the things I like the most about this book is the fact the whole point of the book isn’t wrapped up in the fact that this families has gay parents.  The theme is universal toddlers and their parents love each other. Ten years on from the original publication, I think we still are in need of these books that show typical fun, happy lgbtqia families.

Each mother does their own special things with baby during the day from flying up in the air to cooking in the kitchen. At the end of the day baby is tucked into bed and kissed good-night by both Mommy and Mama.

I am also very happy that there’s no stereotyping in the illustrations, as we all know lesbians come in all shapes, sizes and colors. J

This is a terrific bedtime book for any parents with toddlers and a great playgroup read-aloud.

Activities/resources:

I think the simple rhyming texts really lends itself to actions.

Each week a group of bloggers reviews picture books we feel would make great educational reads. To help teachers, caregivers and parents, we have included resources and/or activities with each of our reviews. A complete list of the thousands of books we have reviewed can be found sorted alphabetically and by topics, here on Susanna Leonard Hill’s website.

Posted in LGBTQIA, Perfect Picture Book Friday, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment